A term I deeply resonate with is that of a highly sensitive person, or HSP. It closely resembles what the spiritual community refers to as an empath – empathy is a defining characteristic of a HSP – but for me the research provides both clarity and validation. Research suggests high sensitivity is genetically linked and resided in about 20% of the population. Life as an HSP could be considered both a blessing and a curse. 

What consistently brings me back to this research are moments when I am overstimulated – overstimulation is another key HSP component. Learning about my trait is comforting, it provides understanding, and helps me normalize what I deal with when outside stimuli is overwhelming, which happens more often than I would like. 

Anything we sense may contribute to overstimulation, loud noises, busy rooms, or events, even sensitivities to substances, like caffeine or alcohol; but especially the energy of those around us, all our interactions, and relationships. Our nervous system is taking in all this information and filtered what is perceived as safe or dangerous. For an HSP, events that signal danger are more intense, and a breaking point is reached quicker. 

Overstimulation for an HSP triggers the sympathetic nervous system – the fight or flight response – and it becomes overwhelming and disorienting. When this occurs, we don’t think straight, everything is often interpreted as a threat, and we tend to check out to manage the intense emotions. When this state becomes chronic, it can take a major toll on our physical health.

For me, a person who has struggled with perfectionist tendencies throughout my life, each bout of overstimulation presents predictable outcomes. I feel broken, like I can’t cope with the world around me. When we act from this state, it’s quite common to look back and wonder, “WTF was I thinking” or “why did I say or do that?” 

It conjures thoughts of, “Why am I like this?” “What is wrong with me?” “Why am I the only one struggling?” This self-talk can lead to harsh self-criticism when the honest answer is that I am different. 

I do often feel overwhelmed in large crowds, leading to intense anxiety. When I experience emotional pain, it drains me and can feel like my world is crumbling around me. For sure, regulation after being overstimulated takes me longer than most. 

And, when we are different, the world often treats us like something is wrong, broken, or can’t cut it, if we have not treated ourselves that way already. 

Going back to the research helps me remember that while I am in the minority, my reactions are ‘normal.’ It helps me regulate so I can focus my energy developing tools and skills, instead of ruminating on my problems and why things are so difficult. 

I learn to recognize when overwhelm is setting in so I can prevent complete dysregulation of my nervous system – I breath. I move. I meditate.

Managing our energy is a delicate balance, if we avoid stimulation soon everything will present problems and we will struggle to interact in the world. Conversely, if we continually force ourselves into stimulating environments, failing to listen to our body’s warnings, life will become quite disorienting and everything will seem like a challenge. 

The suggestion is to learn our tendency. Stimulation is not something to hide from. If our natural reaction is to avoid stimulating environments at all costs, we are best served challenging ourselves from time to time, developing resilience in the process. If, on the other hand, we are constantly dealing with overarousal, eventually we will begin to break down, both physically and emotionally. 

Strive to better understand your trait (or maybe you recognize similar overwhelm in someone close to you). Be gentle and kind. Understand, this is part of who you are. Included in the challenges it presents, are incredible gifts that we can share with others, such as immense empathy, compassion, and a heightened sense of intuition. These gifts allow us to connect with others on a very deep level, but we must stay balanced and in the present moment. Good luck on your journey, follow along for more thoughts on HSP, perfectionism, the understanding the mind-body connection. 

Please reach out with thoughts or questions. Much love friends.